Ready or Not
by calicoskies4ever
Summary: Why is that in Smallville Mprg stories, Clark's the only one who gets pregnant? This is LexClark slash, and Mpreg, and some LionelJonathan slash. Future fic. Clark is Superman. M for language and possible smutty sex. PLEASE review, PLEASE. No flames.
1. Ready or Not

"Someone's gonna hafta explain it to me

I'm not sure what it means.

My baby's feeling funny in the morning,

She's having trouble getting into her jeans.

Her waistline seems to be expanding,

although she never feels like eating a thing.

I guess we'll reach some understanding,

When we see what the future will bring," Jackson Browne

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"Why didn't you tell me this could happen?"

"I presume your Earth parents discussed the issues pertaining to procreation with you," Jor-el responded, and I could have sworn he was laughing at me.

"Well, yeah, but I figured since I'm from another plant it would make it impossible for me to get somebody from Earth pregnant."

"On Earth they have a creature called—a mule—the product of a horse and a donkey, two separate, but similar species can produce offspring." I hated listening to his voice and coming all the way up to the fortress in the freezing cold, even if the temperature didn't bother me. Jor-el always lectured me. Nothing I did was good enough. Nothing I did was right. I cared too much about 'those humans,' I allowed my identity to be discovered, even if it was only as Superman, and I reveled all my private information in that interview with Lois…

"I know about that, I grew up on a farm, but I'm not a horse, or a donkey and neither is-"

"It was an example, my son. You are not the first of our kind to do something like this. Of course in the past the child was cared for on Krypton, for her own protection. These Earthlings are far too primative to properly care for one of us. If there had been any other options—"

"Don't you dare talk about my parents like that," I shouted, and turned to leave, but there was more I needed to know, and I knew that if I didn't find out, I'd only have to come back. "Why didn't you tell me about this?"

"I warned you to be cautious. Human contraceptives are not perfect, but they do tend to work well enough, even for someone like us."

"Yeah, and they worked great when I used them with Lana, but I thought the whole—I though it wouldn't be a problem with Lex, seeing as how men can't get pregnant."

"If only your education hadn't come from such a scientifically stunted planet. Only on Earth do supposedly intelligent creatures believe that gender is a permanent, definite thing."

"So you're telling me that Lex is part man, and part woman?"

"Again, you misunderstand me Kal-el. These words you use, woman; man, they have virtually no meaning, no definition. Just because human 'females' carry children, doesn't mean they all can, nor does it mean that a 'male,' could not do the same."

"But Lex doesn't have a uterus, or a way for the baby to come out."

"Do not worry, my son. These things tend to work out the way they are meant to."

"But how are we supposed to take care of this baby, and what are we supposed to tell him, when he asks where he came from?"

"Now is not the time to worry about such things," he told me and then he left. I screamed at him, in vain, for an hour, angry with him, afraid for Lex's sanity and health, scared for the child, nervous about dealing with a pregnant Lex, saddened because my father couldn't be here to see or know about his grandchild, excited about having a baby, and filled with an even deeper sense of love than I had felt the first time Lex and I had sex.

"Well?" Lex got up from his desk, and ran to meet me at the door, his hands all but shaking with a mixture of fear and excitement. "What did he say? The test was wrong, right? Please—not that I don't want kids—but. I can't be pregnant. It's just not possible."

"Actually it is, and—you are…pregnant. Jor-el said, men and women, well it's not that simple and we—well let's just say from now on we might wanna be a little bit more careful."

"Or we could switch positions and I could be on top. Then we wouldn't have to worry about what might happen if you ever got 'overexcited,'" Lex smirked.

"And risk getting me pregnant too? Why are you so against using condoms? I'm the one who has to wear the damn thing!" I screamed. I can't stand fighting with Lex. He always makes the same face, and he looks so sad, so hurt—I can't stay mad at him for very long. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't yell at you, I mean especially considering—I'm sorry."

"I like the way it feels when—and if you ever tell anyone I said this, I swear I'll grind up a bunch of Kryptonite, and put it in your coffee—I like how it feels when you cum inside of me. I like the way everything feels with you. I've never felt that before, not with anybody. It's almost like—no it couldn't be."

"Lex?" I asked, taking a seat next to him on the couch, and putting my arm around his shoulder. "What is it? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, it's strange, but for the first time in—since I can remember, I'm—I feel good. I'm married to the man of my dreams. My father ran off with your father, right after the election, and he doesn't even bother to get on my case anymore. He doesn't even come by any more. I have complete control over Luthorcorp, and I managed to turn it around, no more illegal research, no more testing the effects of meteor rocks on innocent people…and you and I are about to have a baby together. I've never felt like this before. I'm not myself; I think I've lost my mind."

I thought it was both funny, and pitiful that Lex didn't realize he was happy, and knowing he'd never felt happiness in his life. So I kissed his head, and I kissed his stomach, and then I looked him right in the eyes and said, "Lex, you're happy. That feeling you can't name, the one you've never known, it's happiness."

"I know that! What do you think I am some sort of an idiot? I know what happiness is, but I—I'm a Luthor and I—I'm not supposed to be—we're…Luthors are never happy."

"I think maybe you should call Lionel, and agree to change the rules on this one, or at least ask him if it's okay. _Your_ dad looked pretty happy when he carried my father off in his arms like something in a fairy tale. As far as loosing your mind—you haven't, but when she finds out you're going to be having my child, that you're taking away the only other person in her life, _my_ mom might go crazy."

"Well I was thinking, we're not always going to be able to be with the baby 24/7, and I don't wanna leave him all alone with some nanny whose gonna end up being closer to my kid than I am, so maybe your mom could move in and we'll all be a family together, and take turns watching the baby."

"At least the Kidd will have an interesting time when they make him do a family tree. This is my daddy-Lex, and my other daddy-Clark and their daddies were married to their mommies but now they're living together…"

"When he's little we could tell him that we hired a surrogate, and even have her be part of our life, so he could have someone to call Mommy. Then when he's older, we can tell him the truth," Lex suggested. "I mean—I'd hate to lie to my kid, but how else do we explain that to a toddler…well you know…"

"I think it is a good idea, at least for now, but we should keep an eye out for abilities, and explain that it's okay, and do what my parents did. I was thinking maybe we could get Lana to be his, 'mommy."

"I don't wanna pick anyone from Smallville for this. There's already going to be too much gossip, and if she says even one thing wrong, the whole town will know…well everything."

"Well if not her, then who?"

"An old friend, from school," he started to explain.

"I thought you didn't have any friends in school," I told him in a snarky tone of voice. "Sorry."

"I had one—her name is Anna, and I think she teaches English or something at Met-U. Maybe I can give her a call, and then we can all get together this weekend. I know this place near campus. It has this sundae, with about fifty scoops of ice cream in it—oh god, it's true. I really am pregnant. Next thing you know I'll be wanting peanut butter and pickles—I think I'm gonna throw up," Lex said, racing towards the bathroom, and I thought to myself, 'it's going to be a _really_ long nine months.

// xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Chapter Break xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx //

Lex called his old friend that afternoon, and told her he had gotten married. Then he told her we wanted to have a baby, and that we would really like it if she came to stay with us and help out. Lex said he would tell her the whole story when she got here, because it was too complicated to say over the phone. She agreed to come, for a week or two, to catch up, and so we could figure out the stuff about the baby.

When Lex finished on the phone with Anna, I called my mom. We said hi, and got caught up, and then I decided to tell her everything, and hope that she didn't hang up, or hurt Lex.

"Mom, I know you don't really like Lex anymore, especially since we got married and everything, but we need you to sort of help us with something."

"Lex is not the one I have a problem with—I was at your wedding, remember? I love Lex. He's as much a son to me as you are. It's Lionel I want to throw off the top of a very, very tally building."

"Mom…?"

"Don't worry, Clark. I'm not going to do anything to that," she paused, like she wanted to curse Lionel out, but then changed her mind. "I'm sorry, I just needed to vent. I got a postcard today. They got married, in Maui."

"You're sure you're okay with Lex, and with me and Lex being a couple, right? Mom, this is important. Are you okay, with me and Lex being together, living together, being married?"

"Clark, what are you trying to tell me?" my mother's voice had gone up in pitch, and I could imagine her squeezing the handset with every once of strength she had. My mother's fingers were probably turning white."

"Mom, I think you should sit down," I started to explain, taking my own advice and sitting on a chair next to Lex. I looked over at him, with a quick smile. Lex had a pair of headphones around his stomach, but he was still thin enough that they kept sliding off. He mouthed the word, "Mozart," and I turned my attention back to the phone.

"Clark, honey what's wrong? Did something happen to Lex? Did he do something to you? Is he hurt? Are you hurt? What's going on? Clark? Answer me?" she screamed, not taking the time to breathe between questions, let alone give me a chance to answer.

"Mom, sit down, relax. Everything is fine. In fact, this is good news, but it's also really big good news."

"Okay," she said, quietly.

"Lex and I are gonna have a baby. I got him pregnant. It's some weird Kryptonian thing. I talked to Jor-el, and everything's gonna be okay, he'll be fine, the baby will be fine, but we are having a baby," I told her, and she smiled so wide, I could almost hear it through the telephone.

"I'm going to be a grandmother?" she exclaimed. "Okay, Clark, I'll be there as soon as I can. Thank you Clark, thank you so much. Love you both—I mean I love all of you."


	2. Maybe Baby

"Now baby's feeling funny in the morning  
She says she's got a lot on her mind  
Nature didn't give her any warning  
Now she's going to have to leave her wild ways behind  
She says she doesn't care if she never spends  
Another night running loose on the town  
She's gonna be a mother  
Take a look in my eyes and tell me brother  
If I look like I'm ready," Jackson Browne

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When we met Anna at the ice cream place, she knew almost immediately. She took one look at Lex and figured something was up, something very good. She came home with us after watching Lex and me wolf down _two_ of those huge sundaes each, and somehow managed not to ask any questions until we got home. We told her everything. After she sat there for two hours, completely stunned, Anna agreed to be our "surrogate," with one condition. She wanted to be on our child's life, and we decided that with all the unconventional, unhappy families in the world, one mom and two dads was almost normal.

Anna moved in with us, and within a week, she and Lex were completely caught up. They became even better friends than Lex and I were, but I never worried about them falling in love, or anything like that. Actually having her around turned out to be incredibly helpful, because the first three months of Lex's pregnancy were a nightmare.

On TV and in movies you only hear about food cravings, mood swings, and morning sickness, but sometimes it gets about a hundred times worse. Lex couldn't get out of bed for the entire first trimester. He never really had mood swings because he was so sick he could barely sit up.

Lex hired Toby to be his doctor for the pregnancy, because we knew he could be trusted with secrets, and privacy, but Lex was still paying him twice as much as usual, and made him sign a form saying he would never talk about what he did and or saw. He came by about once a week, to keep an eye on Lex, but whenever he did, Toby said, "you gotta eat man, you just gotta," but Lex couldn't do it.

I went to talk to Jor-el three separate times to try and convince him that Lex needed help, more help than I could give him. He said there was something he could do, but it was another of those one-time things, and that I needed to think about it for a while before making up my mind. Finally I brought Lex to the fortress in person.

"Are you sure this is necessary?" Lex asked, four times, as I was bundling him up. First he put on long underwear pajamas, and then a t-shirt, a turtleneck, one sweater, one hooded sweatshirt, a full-length fur coat, and a hat. Then I pulled the sweatshirt hood over the hat, and tied it closed as tightly as I could, without cutting off his air. After that I wrapped his body in two blankets and a thermal sleeping bag, before carrying him to the car, driving to Smallville, and then holding him as we traveled to the fortress.

"Why have you brought _him_ here, my son?" was all Jor-el would say. Lex had thrown up twice since we left the house, but his stomach—as if on a timer—erupted a third time just after we arrived. Luckily he was empty, and so Jor-el got to witness him getting sick without having to clean up.

"Claaaaaark," he moaned, his body shivering despite the layers. "Lex's just go home." Lex's eyes were squeezed tight to keep the cold out, and his whole face was this reddish-pink color.

"Soon," I promised, whispering. "I'll get you home as soon as I can." Then I turned to Jor-el angrily. "You see that? I love Lex, and I can't stand by, watching him in this much pain. Now either you help him, or I will find a way to destroy this place." I don't know if it was seeing Lex like that, my threat, or just realizing how serious I was, but then all of the sudden the room filled with this brilliant yellow light, and when it was gone, Lex looked up at me and smiled.

"Thank you," he said, but there was no answer. The moment we got back to the caves, I unwrapped him. Then Lex stood up and walked to the car. "Thank you too," he told me, climbing into the drivers seat. "I want Chinese takeout tonight, or maybe Italian. I'm really in the mood for pesto—and plum sauce. Oomph! Your kid is still kicking me. Can you talk to him, and ask him to quit playing soccer with my insides?"

"What makes you think we're having a boy?" I asked, pressing my lips to his belly, and whispering, "be gentle," in Kryptonian. "Not that I can tell either way, but you always say he or him when you talk about the baby." Lex didn't say a word. He wouldn't even turn his head away from the road. I saw this small tear in the corner of his eyes, and Lex didn't bother to wipe it away. I kissed his cheek softly, and then leaned back in my seat.

"So, what do you think? Chinese, or Italian?" he finally asked as we approached the Metropolis city limits. He hadn't said anything in hours. I wasn't sure whether or not to push him. I knew something was bothering Lex, but he didn't wanna talk about it, and I didn't want to start a fight over something that could easily be nothing.

"I think we should do both—I mean, if you want both, we should have them, especially since you're eating for two, and I've got—well you know how _I_ eat," I told him, smiling, and nudging his shoulder gently.

"…Like a pregnant woman," he said, and then laughed too. Then Lex looked away from the road for the first time since w had gotten into the car. "Look, it's not a big deal, but when I got shot when we were living in Smallville, I had halucin—dream, where I was married, happy, and I had a little boy and my—we were pregnant—with a girl, and as stupid as it sounds, I feel like it might be true now."

"It's not stupid, and I want you to know that I love our baby regardless of whether you're right or wrong, boy or girl." Lex and I had picked up a ton of food, Peking duck, moo shoo pancakes, and some spicy dish Lex ate and mixed with his pesto sauce—yeah I know but what was I supposed to say—egg rolls, wontons, and almond cookies from the Chinese place. Lex's pesto linguine, cheese and mushroom ravioli, veal parmigiana, calamari, and these chocolate chip cannolis that were to die for, came from the Italian place. While we were eating we were too busy to really talk, but just as we finished, Lex said something that made me realize just how much better he was feeling.

"Hey, Clark, how about we go upstairs for a little while? I have a—something I'd like to show you upstairs, in the bedroom. And Clark, Thank you again, and the next time you see Jor-el tell him how much I appreciate this."

We ran into my mom on the stairs. She and Anna had been taking care of Lex since he got sick. Neither of them seemed to be angry about it, they didn't even mind-they said, but when he got better they were ecstatic. My mom hugged Lex, and she practically shouted, but it was a happy shout.

"Oh Lex," she exclaimed. "It's just so great to see you back on your feat. And you," she said, talking to his belly. "Listen up little one, your daddy needs his strengh so he can take care of you. How did you boys accomplish this miracle?"

"I took Lex to the fortress. Jor-el made him better…I know, but we didn't have nay other choice," I started to explain, but mom patted me on the shoulder, as if trying to remind me that the more we discovered about Jor-el the more we realized he was a good guy after all. I wasn't sent here to rule, or anything like that. He wanted to save me, and knew how much I could help everyone here.

"Mmm, something smells wonderful. Smells like—did you two get Chinese _and_ Italian? I don't suppose there's anything left is there?" she asked, and Lex and I both blushed. "Oh well, I guess I can make myself a little something," Mom told us, and then Lex and I went up to our room. We made love, twice, before I wrapped my arms around Lex, and held his body close to me, running my hands all over him. He snuggled a little closer to me, and rolled himself over onto his right side, onto his back, left side, back, left, and right again.

"I'm having trouble getting comfortable. Little brat—sorry—little guy doesn't wanna be still. Hey you, relax. I know, I had spicy peppers for dinner, and I'm sorry. I'm gonna be more careful from now on, but Daddy's, gotta sleep," he told the baby, flipped onto his right side, pressed his face into my shoulder and fell asleep.

Then I leaned over and whispered, "I love you, both of you," and I went to sleep too.


	3. Every Mother's Son

AN: I'm adding a dash of Lionel into the mix. I wanted Martha to be happy, so I gave her husband back to her, but that meant that Lionel was alone, and unhappy. From here on out this is Lex/Clark/Lionel.

I was raised within a cause,  
with a purpose to fulfill.  
I was taught to defend what was mine,  
and instructed not to kill.  
My small mortal eyes can see eternity,  
in the clouds that dissolve and then regroup endlessly," Chrissie Hynde

After a day or two, Lex was back to his regular old self, or maybe I should say his regular new self. Ever since we'd gotten married Lex was happier, but it wasn't until he got pregnant that he really became happy. He said it was like having all the dreams he'd ever had come true. My mom couldn't have been more excited about becoming a grandmother, and went to work on knitting a baby-blanket.

She used _both_ robin's egg blue, and apple blossom pink, just in case. Mom and Lex went shopping together that afternoon, and came home with about a million bags and boxes of baby stuff. They picked up a crib, wallpaper, mobiles, toys, blocks, a soothing sounds machine, pajamas, the cutest little baby-sized business suit, and a superman outfit, because Lex thought it was adorable.

I had to put everything away, because Lex's stomach was actually starting to get bigger, and he was tired sometimes. He told me where he wanted everything and when we were done, everything looked perfect.

One night, Lex's cell phone rang, during dinner. Usually he would only look to see if it was work—they knew to only call if it was an emergency—but when he checked the phone, Lex excused himself, got up, and went into the den for privacy. I don't know whether I made it obvious that he _never_ did this, because it's really important to understand the story…so, Lex never did things like that. I wasn't planning to listen, not until I heard him scream.

"Damnit, Dad, I told you not to call me anymore. You signed the papers, handed everything over to me, not to mention my changes. You could—you wouldn't be able to run Luthorcorp any longer."

"I have no interest in coming back to work, with or without you. I simply wanted to call and see how my son was doing. Where's the harm in that?" Lionel's voice sounded the same way it always had, but even over the phone I could tell he was smiling. I pictured my dad lounging on the couch next to him, with his bare feet propped up on a coffee table or in Lionel's lap.

I remember walking in on them once, not—doing it—or anything but they were in the middle of making out. Dad pulled away immediately, and he seemed fine. I watched as he stood up, and walked across the room, to talk to me, but I couldn't help noticing Lionel was still in his chair. I don't know why, but I x-rayed him, and I couldn't stop staring at his crotch. After that day, whenever I thought about Lionel, I always pictured him the same way, and for the longest time, I hated myself for it. Suddenly, I realized Lex was still talking.

"Dad, I just—we don't exactly have space for you here. Besides I think Martha Kent would stab you in your sleep if you two were—what?"

Lionel had just said, "I doubt that. Jonathan and she got back together over a week ago. I take it nobody told, you."

"Well she's been going out almost every night around dinner time. I figured she might be seeing somebody, but I—uh, yeah okay. You can come stay with us for a while, but I…there's something I need to tell you. Clark and I are having a baby."

"I presume you mean you hired a surrogate," Lionel said in his usual, snobby 'I know everything, and you're a complete idiot,' voice. I hated myself even more when, suddenly, my pants felt about three times tighter. I wanted to get up, but knew I needed to listen to the rest of their conversation.

"Actually Dad, it's a bit more complicated than—I'll explain when you get here, okay? I'd prefer not to talk about this over the phone," Lex told his dad, and I watched as he gently patted his stomach.

"Oh, dear. Lex, you haven't gone and done something drastic, have you? Well I'll be dropping by later this evening, maybe an hour or so from now. Sounds like you and I have some catching up to do, hmm?" Then Lionel made this soft mewing sound. He said, "and perhaps a little father son bonding," before hanging up.

When Lex came back into the dining room, almost fifteen minutes later, I saw that he had untucked his shirt, and loosened his belt, like he had been to the bathroom, or something like that.

"Everything okay?" I asked, as he sat down and let out a soft sigh. Lex looked at me like he had no idea what I was talking about. I touched my ears, and he sort of nodded, but didn't say anything at first.

"It's nothing, okay not nothing, but it's nothing to make a big deal out of. My—you heard everything then?" he asked. I was too embarrassed to tell Lex I had spent at least half of the conversation fantasying about Lionel's—about Lionel. "My relationship with my father is—," Lex paused, searching for the exact right word, and finally settled for, "complex. I'm not sure it would be good for us—for our marriage, for the baby, if my dad and I were…living together."

"Well we've got that great guest house out back. If my parents are going back to the farm, maybe Lionel could stay in there."

"I banished him to the guest house when he first got out of prison, but that only lasted for about a week. One night he came by for dinner, and—convinced me to let him stay in his old room." Lex sighed, went to the freezer, and came back with a couple tubs of ice cream.

"Lex if you don't want your dad living with us, all you gotta do is say so." Lex wasn't sure he could handle living with his father, for whatever reasons he had, and I didn't want Lionel around because I wasn't sure we could live under the same roof, without me having to jump him, or vice versa.

I'd seen the way Lionel looked at me—as soon as I thought about this, I wondered whether Lionel really did want me, or if I was just projecting. Then the doorbell rang, but Lex didn't stand up to answer it.

"We could pretend we're not home," I suggested.

"No, I'll get it," Lex told me, and he did, and then Lionel was living with us.


	4. Family

AN: school is keeping me busy. It's going to be a long time before I do more updates. Sorry folks, but this is my last semester in college, and I have a CRAZY schedule.

"I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show  
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control  
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain  
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain  
From my eyes  
Tonight I wanna cry," Keith Urban

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When Lex went to get the door, I went to work on our dishes, but I couldn't even concentrate on a task as simple as washing, and drying a few plates. After breaking my second glass, I decided to put the rest in the sink to take care of later. As perverted as it made me feel, I knew I had to spy on Lion and Lex, so I walked around to the room right next to Lex's study, and sat facing them, looking and listening through the wall.

The two Luthors were sitting next to each other; their bodies mouthwateringly close. Lex may as well have been sitting in his father's lap. "No," I told myself, and pushed the image away. Lionel was touching Lex's belly with his left hand, and the baby was kicking at the feeling.

"Well I can see why you wouldn't want to discuss this on the phone," Lionel said. He flashed his teeth in a quick smile. Then, almost instantly, his hand slid down to Lex's inner thigh in what was obviously a pass. At first I actually forgot that we were married, and for a minute or two, all I wanted was to watch them fuck, but when Lex pushed his father's hand away, I snapped out of it.

"I'm married now, Dad. I can't do that sort of thing anymore—not with you anyway." I watched as Lionel picked up Lex's hand, and brought it to his mouth, kissing his palm. "Knock it off."

"What Clark doesn't know isn't going to hurt him," Lionel said, almost stereotypically. It wasn't hard to see just how much Lex used to enjoy being with his father, and there was definitely a look of longing on his face, but he still pulled back.

"I'm surprised you haven't asked me more questions about the baby, Dad," Lex said, trying to change the subject as quickly as possible. "I take it Jonathan told you then?" he asked.

"About, Clark, yes—but perhaps you could explain the rest to me over—well at some point later this evening." Lionel touched him again, and Lex looked as though he might die if he had to push his father away again, and he just sat there as Lionel undid his belt, slipping his hand down the front of his son's pants. The tears slowly slid down Lex's face as he began to whimper and plead. The words were so quiet that I doubt anyone other than I could have ever heard him. Then something unbelievably sad happened. "Daddy, please" he begged, and Lionel pulled away. He had an erection until then, but somehow Lex had managed to make that disappear, without even touching him.

"Damnit, Lex," he shouted, reaching out to touch his son's face, only now he behaved like a real father for the first time—I thought—ever. "You know what that does to me. I cannot think of you as my child, _and_ put my hand down your pants at the same time.

"You never hurt me, you're not capable of that, but I needed to show you that there is no way. I will not cheat on Clark. I know how much all of this means to you, Dad, but it can't. It would hurt him too much." Lionel and Lex both sat there looking confused. I'm not sure either one of them knew how to relate to each other, deal with each other, act together, except through love making, and I knew that I could never live with myself if I allowed them to grow apart.

I wanted to hold them both, fuck them, kiss and hug them, snuggle, and fall asleep with them, but I didn't move, not right away. Watching them, I couldn't tell who was worse off. Lionel had just lost his husband, and he was completely alone, wanting desperately to connect with his son, but Lex… Lex knew that his dad hardly loved him. He needed to work on their relationship, needed to know that he and his father could get along, but at the same time he was in a monogamous relationship with somebody he actually loved, and didn't want to lose me.

When I realized that we all needed each other, I ran to the kitchen, put some cookies and milk on a platter, came back, and knocked on the door. Neither one of them said anything, so I opened it, and stepped inside. Lex looked horrified, and slightly green as I opened the door. Sometime between when I left and when I got back, Lionel had slipped his hand back down Lex's pants. When he saw me, the poor guy burst into tears. "Clark, I cant—it's not what it looks like, I swear." I raced to their sides, and held Lex and Lionel both in my arms, kissing Lex, softly just under his ear.

"It's okay, Lex. I really like—I wanted to, um—here's the thing. I like him too, and I saw you guys, and it's—I want the three of us to, if you guys wanted to…" I let my voice fall off, and looked at the two of them. Lionel licked his lips, and I suddenly felt his hand move from his son's lap to mine, but Lex still seemed unsure.

"This—isn't a trick?" he asked, desperately. I shook my head, and kissed him passionate. Lex's velvety smooth tongue entered my mouth, and started caressing my cheeks as our tongues intertwined. Lionel put his arm around both of us gently.

"If either one of you wants me to stop, all you have to do is say so. I promise," Lionel told us, and got on his knees, with his face between my legs. "God you're beautiful."

"How long have you guys been doing this?" I asked, running my hand through his baby soft, sweet smelling hair. I watched as father turned to son, and Lex closed his eyes, looking away. "I just wish we all could have done this sooner, that's all." He nodded, but still seemed nervous. "Do you wanna stop?" I brushed Lionel's hand away gently, even though I was hard as a rock.

Lionel looked up at me longingly, and I knew than that I could easily make him do anything I asked. Watching Lex, my mind flashed back to all those nights Lex spent curled up in my arms, begging me to tell him, "I love you," and I realized the exact reason. "Tell Lex that you love him," I ordered, gripping his shirt, lightly.

"Excuse me?" he replied as though I had just spoken to him in Kryptonian. Lex seemed to be growing more uncomfortable by the minute. Tiny, almost invisible tears welling up in his eyes, he whispered the word, "stop," so softly that only I could hear him. "My son knows how I feel, don't you, Lex?" Of course, all Lex could do was nod, unable to speak.

"No, he doesn't, and it's really easy to see why." I wanted to hit him, hard, but knew better than to hurt him. "You've probably told _my father_ that more than you've told your own child. He's desperate for affection, more than I can give him. Now hold Lex in your arms, and tell him, 'I love you,' or we're kicking you out. You'll never get to see your grandkids, and you'll die a bitter, lonely old man. I know you feel it. I see the way you look at him, but there's something wrong with you. Just say it. Say it. Tell him." I kept on pushing the two of them closer and closer. Lionel wrapped his arms around Lex's sobbing body.

"Okay. Okay—I know. I know. My father was always the—he never told me. When you were born, I swore I'd never do that to you, and yet somehow I ended up doing it anyway. I'm sorry, and I do. I do love you." At this point they were both starting to cry, but it was pretty easy to tell that Lex needed me a lot more than his father did, and when I wrapped Lex's shaking frame in my arms, he seemed better almost immediately. I was surprised at how easily Lionel let him go into my arms, which was completely contrasted by the devastated look on his face.

"He needs you too," I reminded the older Luthor, lifting one of my arms off Lex's body, only momentarily, so that I could also pull Lionel close to my chest, kissing them on the heads. Needless to say, we didn't have sex. After all of that crying, Lex was exhausted, and when his body was completely drained of tears, he looked over at his father, and opened his mouth, as if to apologize for his outburst.

"It's all right, Son. You're not yourself right now—what I meant was, there's nothing wrong with what just happened here. You have every right to be upset. I haven't always been the sort of father you needed, but I'll do anything to make up for it," Lionel explained.

"You gonna be here for the baby?" Lex asked, already knowing that his father would say yes. "Then be good to him. Don't you dare try and pull any of that shit on him. And if you _ever_ attempt to turn him into a—" Lionel cut him off.

"I promise to be the best grandfather I possibly can. I have always loved you, Lex. I don't know why I didn't tell you, but I will tell you again now, I love you, and I will continue to tell you, and I will always tell your children as well." Lex nodded, and snuggled closer to his father.

"Dad?" he asked, after we had been lying on the couch together for another hour. Lionel—who was nearly as tired as his son—yawned in a cat like gesture, but still gave Lex his full attention. "Do you think you could…" his voice dropped instantly, and while I should have known what was wrong, Lionel's reaction was what really showed me that he really did know my husband better than I did.

"I love you, Lex. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you," he whispered in Lex's ear over and over, as I still couldn't stop visualizing his tongue pushing past his lips, twirling around Lex's ear canal, and his sucked in mouth, chewing and sucking ever so softly on the sweet, pink bud of Lex's earlobe. "I think he's asleep," Lionel's voice drew me from my fantasy, as he leaned over, kissing me once on the lips before standing up, and stretching.

"I think we should stay together—at least for tonight. Come with me?" Lifting Lex up was as easy as carrying a rag doll. I held him close, as walked upstairs, while moving slowly enough to allow Lionel to keep up. I lay Lex on the bed, gently pulling his shoes and pants off, and then lifting his body to pull his pajama bottoms on over his hips. I kissed his chest as I undid the buttons of his pale lilac sweater. "Here," I guided Lionel's hand to Lex's slightly bulging stomach. Inside Lex's red, purple, pink, and blue body, our little boy kicked as though he were trying to play a drum; restkick, rest—kick-rest rest, kick, kick, kick-restkick, rest- Lionel took in a deep breath almost crying.

"The baby is he…Lex was always so—fragile as a little boy. I used to worry, it hurt—I would never wish those experiences on another parent, let alone a child." Lionel bit his lower lip softly, trying to maintain hiss usual 'I-am-a-rock façade. "Is he…?"

"I don't know. Lex says the kid is strong enough to kick his way into the world, and the baby is part me—I'm sure he's gonna be fine. There's nothing to worry about, I—he'll be okay." Lionel nodded, sat down on the bed, kicked off his shoes, and when I joined him, the two of us wrapped Lex in our arms, and then we slept together, one, big, happy family.


	5. Childbirth

The words Lex Luthor and pregnant probably shouldn't be put together anywhere on Earth or throughout the entire universe, but they were, and he was

"Everything's gonna be all right  
rockabye, rockabye  
everything's gonna be all right  
rockabye, rockabye," Shawn Mullins.

The words Lex Luthor and pregnant probably shouldn't be put together anywhere on Earth or throughout the entire universe, but they were, and he was. I remember waking up one morning, looking next to him, laying sort of curled on his side (he had to sleep that way because on his stomach he was worried it would squash the baby, and on his back, Junior usually tried to use his belly as a trampoline) his round, smooth belly protruding out in a cute, little baby bump, an enormous smile spread across his face. Lex as glowing from the pregnancy, and because there was this soft, white light twinkling in through the window illuminating him, like an angel.

On the other end of the king-sized mattress, Lionel lay, somewhere hallway in between sleep and wakefulness, also smiling, spooned up against Lex's back, his arms wrapped under his son's shoulders, one hand on the belly, the other had drifted slightly lower at some point during the night. Even though my husband was moody, demanding, and having some of the weirdest food cravings ever, this situation seemed so perfect, and blissful. Lex had me and Lionel, and our love, which pretty much amounted to everything he had ever wanted. Lionel had his company back (the two Luthors now shared control, although they did occasionally bicker, even now) as well as his son, and me, and I finally had a normal life. It sounds sort of strange, calling our situation normal, but it just felt right.

As I was watching them, Lionel's eyes blinked, once, twice, three times, and then opened, an even larger smile spreading across his face, eyes sparkling. He sat up slowly, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, and tossing his long, silky hair in a gentle fashion. It was Saturday, which meant both men would be home all day and (supposedly) spending their time getting the nursery ready with me. I had picked one day out of the week to be family day, so that when the baby came, they would be used to taking time off for all of us to be together. This was also the day we slept in (at least for now) but I never quite got the hang of that one. Having spent the majority of my life on a farm, even though I hated getting up before 9:00 or 10:00, I could never be like Lex who would sleep all day if we would let him.

"I don't think I realized how much of Lillian he has in him, those eyes, her cheek bones, smile, the little pouty face he makes. Lex was always beautiful, but I didn't…" I knew the reason Lionel hadn't noticed these things until now had a lot to do with the fact that he never used to pay much attention to his boy, but held my tongue. Things were better now, and I didn't want to start something unless I had to.

"You miss her. I know how you—I know what it's like loosing someone you care about. It sucks, and sometimes it's the only thing you can think about. Lex and I were talking, and we decided that—if it's okay with you—if we have a girl, we want to name her Lilly."

"I would like that very much." Lionel stood up after that, excused himself, and went to the bathroom. I didn't spy on him, because I didn't have to use my x-ray vision to know he was in there crying. By the time he got back, Lex had woken up too, and announced that he was hungry, for breakfast. So we all went downstairs and had Natalie (I still was sort of weirded out at having a personal chef) make us some omelets and bacon. Lex, of course wanted something strange. Goat cheese, tomatoes, peppers, and avocado omelets, with bacon bitts, and toast with peanut butter, bananas and M&Ms. Then he crushed potato chips and sprinkled them over the top of the omelet. "Between the two of you, I'm going to be bankrupt in a year, just on the cost of food," Lionel said in a teasing, playful manner.

"I don't eat _that_ much," Lex and I said at almost the same time. We both eyed each others plates, stacked high with food, and laughed. "Well at least I don't look like some sort of crazy person who hasn't gotten his hair cut or beard trimmed sometime in the last twenty years," I came up with quickly.

"I beg your pardon. You don't think I'm going to take fashion tips from a boy who wears flannel everywhere except to bed, do you? As it happens, I got my hair cut yesterday," Lionel informed me haughtily.

"I think they missed a spot," Lex chided, trying to join in on our fun. My first thought was_, this is not going to go well_. My second was; _I have to make him shut up before Lionel says something stupid, and Lex has a mood swing, and ends up hurt._ I shot Lionel a look, and he nodded.

"Alright, that's quite enough from both of you. I'm not going to get dragged into some juvenile argument in which everyone ends up upset, feeling like we hate each other. Lex, you are right, you don't eat that much, you're just feeding the little baby inside of you, but Clark on the other hand…he eats like a course. No wonder he had to dress so shabbily."

"Be nice to Clark, he's my husband, and one of the father's of your grandchild," Lex said, in his usual tone of voice. "Even if he does dress like someone from a Nirvana music video." The rest of the morning was about what it usually was. Lex, Lionel and I discussed possible names for a baby boy, since everyone agreed on Lilly for a girl. I told them how, durring the week, I had built a crib by hand, slowly so that 1. I wouldn't make nay mistakes and 2. Because it was too important to rush, showed them some of the wall paper swatches I had picked out.

I had been to every baby store in metropolis, picking out lots of reds, yellows, greens, purples, and even some with a couple of different colors including blue, that looked gender neutral, even though Lex said he had a very strong feeling that the baby was a boy. We sat in the nursery, which was fully of books, toys, stuffed animals, and had this really nice carpet the color of baby chickens, the crib and dressers, both of which I had painted deep purple and decorated with stars, planets and their moons. All over the walls, were little squares of the different patterns.

"I sort of like the ducks…and the dinosaurs," Lex said, "but the rocket ships probably go better with the crib and dresser."

"That one was—not entirely my idea, but we don't have to make everything match. I just wanted to show him some of her heritage." Lex and I had taken to calling the baby both he and she intermittently, just so we wouldn't get too used to either one. I knew I could take a peak, but we both agreed to be surprised at the birth and so I didn't.

"Well yes, but you don't want to over stimulate it—the baby. Maybe the purple one with the light colored stripes. Then you'll have something calming for the child to look at," Lionel suggested.

"It's a soothing pattern sure, but it's also boring," Lex told him, matter-o-factly. "If I were a baby I wouldn't want to have to stare at pastel stripes all day. Might be nice in my—our room—but in a nursery is for the kid, not the parent. What do you think Clark?" I had picked the plain wall paper patterns out of a similar fear to Lionel's but seeing them hanging up, actually in the room, they didn't seem to fit. At the same time, I hated it when Lex and Lionel tried to drag me into their little arguments. Most of the time, I was able to keep the two Luthors from having serious fights, but every once in a while I think thee was a need between father and son to really go at it. Luckily, this was not one of those times.

"Maybe we can come up with some sort of a compromise," I suggested, but was greeted with a look that made it seem as thought neither one had ever heard the word. "What if we use the dark purple one with the white starts on it? That way it's still got the same theme and it's nice and neat since the stars are in straight lines." The funny thing washed even though this was obviously a perfect choice, they both looked like they were thinking it over carefully.

In the end, Lex and Lionel agreed with me, and we put the wall paper up together, which took a while because I didn't use my abilities here either. After that, Lionel watched as I, (with some technical assistance from Lex) built what Lara said was the Kryptonian version of a mobile. It was triggered by vocal commands, by either the baby or an adult. Once turned on, the device projects slowly moving images onto the ceiling, while creating one of three soothing sounds, once recorded by me and Lex in English, one recorded by my biological parents in Kryptonian (they had prepared for a similar situation to this one) and one of ocean sounds. The images would change too. In our case they were based on which images we placed in the machine, even though the original design was slightly more complex, but for now we just had a couple of pictures, one of me, one of Lex, one of Anna (the baby's "mom" if anyone asked) one of each of his grandparents, all things we thought he or she would like.

By the end of the day the room was almost complete, except for the baby. This was good because, according to both human and Kryptonian deadlines Lex was going to give birth some time in the next week. We were so happy. Everything was wonderful. The only problem was the sex stuff. Because he was so far along in the pregnancy, sex with Lex had become complicated, to say the least. A;; the doctors told us it was perfectly safe, but he refused to let anyone make love (or fuck) to him, and even though he only had a cute little beach ball shaped bump, he also wouldn't put any pressure on his stomach, so he was unable to do anything except suck and be sucked, not that we didn't love that. I was just starting to miss being able to really make love to my husband, and even with Lionel it didn't feel the same.

Later that night, the tree of us cuddled on the couch, watching a very old home movie from when Lex was about three or four. He was sweet (kind), smart, and funny. Even as a toddler he spoke better than I did as an adult. Lionel chuckled when I said this.

"Lex was the most intelligent, and grown up child I had ever seen. He's still exceptionally bright, but it was all the more amazing when he was a very little boy because I wasn't used to it yet." About an hour after that, Lex stood up, heading towards the bedroom.

"Is everything okay?" I asked, reaching for his hand. Lex nodded. "Just tired, huh?" A nod. "Is it okay if I come with?" By now, he had become very picky about certain things, and we could never tell when something might set him off. So I was very careful with him, Lionel too.

"Of course." Lex smiled, and pressed his face into my shoulder, closing his eyes a little, and rubbing against me. "My stomach hurts me, and I just wanna go to sleep. I told him this was fine, and we went back to our room; Lionel decided to stay behind for a while. Even though we knew that Lex's pregnancy would last about nine months (and while it had been about that amount of time when went to sleep) I never would have expected what came next.

Sometime around 2:00 AM, I awoke to the sensation of someone—Lionel as it turned out—shaking me by the shoulder, and saying, "Clark, you need to wake up." Then I sat up, opened my eyes, and looked around in a slightly confused panic.

"Where is Lex? What's happening? Why isn't he sleeping in here? Just tell me what's going on, right this minute," I shouted, my voice and my mind both racing as fast as a humming bird.

"Clark, I want you—you need to calm down. Everything is just fine. Lex is in the other room. He's gone into labor. He is okay. The baby is okay. Everyone and everything is perfect, but you need to come with me if you want to be there when the baby is born."

"How long has this been going on?" I asked standing, and getting dressed quickly (rather than throwing on a robe) so that I wouldn't accidently flash the doctor or our new born baby. Lex was laying face up on a table in this big, white room, and when we entered, his head snapped in my direction, as we locked eyes. In the hall on the way there, Lionel filled me in on the details I had missed.

"Lex went into labor about an hour ago. We called his doctor and got him set up in a sterile room. They're going to do a cesarean section, because it's easier and we think it will be safer for the baby. Lex wants to be awake for the procedure, and would like everyone to be with him," he'd explained.

"Hey, Dad," I said, taking Lex's hand in mine as soon as I could, and he squeezed it tightly. We both smiled, and the doctor gave him something to numb up the lower half of his body. After that everything else happened really fast. I remember Lex's heavy-lidded eyes, looking up at my face.

"Are you ready for this?" he asked although I had a feeling it was as much for his father as it was addressed to me. "We're gonna have a little baby, my baby, our baby." I lowered my face, kissing his knuckles, in a soft motion.

The doctor said, "You're going to feel a little pressure now," and drew a scrapple across his tummy. I couldn't watch. So I turned my head away, where Lionel's eyes locked into mine. Despite my continuing reassurances, he was still worried. I mouthed; _I love you_, and winked. Then I heard a crying sound, and we both tunred around just in time to see the doctor pulling the baby out, and held it up for us to see. "Do you wanna cut the cord?" he asked, handing me what looked like a cross between a scissors and a nutcracker. He tied something around the unbilical cord, and showed me what to do.

Our child seemed perfect, a little small, but perfect. The kid reached for my hand, grabbing me, but I couldn't tell if it was a sick or healthy grab, or if it was strong or weak. All I could think was _I'm a Daddy. We have a baby_. _I'm a daddy._ I was so happy. This was the best thing to ever happen o me.

"Hey," Lex called out, reaching up and grabbing my hand. "Is the baby okay?" I didn't know what to say or how to say it but luckily I didn't need to answer him just yet. As the doctor was stitching up his stomach, my husband lifted his head and asked, "So what did we have, boy or girl?"


	6. The End

"Give me your hand; I'd like to shake it.  
I want to show you I'm your friend.  
You'll understand if I can make it clear,  
its all that matters in the end.  
'Put it there, if it weighs a ton,'  
that's what a father said, to his young son.  
I don't care if it weighs a ton.  
As long as you and I are here, put it there," Paul McCartney.

Author's Note: I wrote this a few years ago and haven't looked at it since.

"We have a boy," I explained, reaching out to squeeze his hand, and wiping a bit of sweat from his forehead. "An amazing, wonderful, gorgeous, perfect baby boy. The doctor just has to clean him off and—here we go."

"Hey there, I'm your daddy," Lex cooed. "My God, look at all this hair." The baby had a thick bunch of curly, bright-red hair, and small but expressive gray eyes. His skin was a bit wrinkled, not surprising considering he'd just spent most of a year living underwater (so to speak). Even though all of the baby books said it was impossible it seemed like he understood exactly what we were saying to him. The baby lifted his little hand and touched the top of Lex's head. "Hey Lionel—Dad—come meet your grandson."

"Hello, Little One," he said to the baby, and then he told us, "Lex, he looks just like you at this age. Clark is right. He's perfect, just like his Daddy." Watching Lionel interact with out child was bizarre. He had always been so awkward with Lex, but not here, not with the baby. He smiled, holding our son carefully, his fingers running through those little curls.

"We're going to call him Alexander," I explained, and everybody smiled, including the baby. He reached out again, this time wrapping his fist around Lionel's finger, grabbing onto it, grabbing a hold of him.

About an hour after the baby was born, Lex said he was feeling much better, and so I called the farm (luckily Mom and Dad were already awake) to tell them that their grandson had been born, and—naturally—they came over right away. As I hung up, the baby began sobbing. Lionel tried to rock Alex and even sang to him so quietly, I wasn't sure anyone else could hear. Eventually, he handed the baby back to my husband.

"Hey Mister, what's all this fuss about?" Lex asked seriously. The baby actually did stop crying for a moment, gazed up at us like he had something very important to say, and then started up again. "He's hungry. Clark, go heat up a bottle. Okay?" he asked. I nodded, raced off, got a bottle for the baby, met my parents at the door, and brought everyone back to the bedroom where Lex and baby Alexander were now resting, relaxing after their long night.

"They rang the doorbell right when I was on my way back with his breakfast, otherwise I would have gotten here much sooner," I told them, handing the baby formula off, and watching happily as my son started to drink, and drained the whole thing rather quickly.

"See he takes after you too," Lex said teasingly. "And it's fine, by the way. If my father or I were the one heating the bottle up we would have needed to use the stove, which would have taken a lot longer than your heat vision thingy."

First my mom hugged Lex and me, taking the baby in her arms, talking to him in that high-pitched, sweet voice. Then, Dad gave me a hug, and Lex received an affectionate pat on the shoulder. Actually, it was funnier than awkward, especially when Mom dragged him to the other end of the room, and started whispering in his ear.

"Lex is a sweet, kind, wonderful young man, and he just gave birth to your grandson. Give him a hug. We both know that he's not the one you're angry with; don't take it out on him." My father stood in the same place for more than a minute as though he were trying to figure out what my mother would do if he refused.

"Mrs. Kent, it's fine, really. With all that our families have been through, there's bound to be some uncomfortable moments. I know we'll get through all of it."

"Nonsense, Lex. You're a part of our family now, and you deserve to be treated the same as Clark," she promised, cuddling the baby to her chest and bouncing him gently. "And as I told you before, it's either Martha, or Mom, whichever you prefer." Lex's gaze shifted to Lionel. _Is this okay? _He asked with his face. His dad smiled again. He was happier than any of us had ever seen him, holding Lex close, hugging him tightly. Even though there was no way to be positive, I would have sworn he was checking out my parents, _both _of them.

"It's alright with me, Lex. In fact it's more than alright. I want you to call her Mom, as long as you're comfortable. I know how much you love your mother, how much you still care about her, miss her. I know because I feel the same way. She wouldn't mind, even if she were still here. I may not have always been there for you, but at least this little guy will never have that problem. He's got more people to love him than he might want."

"When I was a kid, I never would have imagined my life would end up like this, and yet I'm really, really happy. I love you, and Clark, and Alexander. Living here, in Smallville, being part of a happy, loving family, I just—thanks for sending me away when you did."

"Well I knew how important this place was, and wanted you to be a part of it," Lionel joked, as he put his hand on Lex's shoulder, still holding onto him with the other arm. Lex watched very carefully as little Alexander was handed from my mom to my dad, like he was worried they might drop (from what my mom, dad, and Lionel say, that is perfectly normal for new parents thought) our son.

"Now you listen to me, Kid. I'm going to be the one who teaches you how to catch and clean fish. We'll go camping together, and do all of the other normal people stuff that I did with Clark. They're both more than welcome to join us, but may not bring _any_ work with," my father explained to us, and even though he didn't say anything specifically, I had a feeling that only three out of the four Luthor family members would actually be allowed to accompany him. Not that Lionel would ever go camping and fishing with us anyway.

"Mr. Kent, no offense, but it's gonna be at least a year before he can so much as say fishy, let alone operate a rod and reel. But I think we can start taking him on fishing trips when he's old enough. Clark always talks about those experiences with great fondness. I'd love for my child to have the same memories." Our baby yawned, his little arms stretching out. "Uh—look I know you guys haven't been here very long, but I think it's about time Alexander and I go down for a nap. If you want to stay here and spend some time catching up with Clark, that's more than fine. But I do need a bit of help," he explained, handing the baby to Lionel and slowly making his way up the stairs.

I did stay downstairs with my parents for a while, but they had to go home. "Some of us still hve farm chores to do," Dad exclaimed, laughing. So, I went up to the bedroom where Lex and Lionel lied snuggled close on our king-sized bed. Alex was in a basinet near by. We decided to keep him in our room for a few weeks before moving him into the nursery. I stood in the doorway, taking everything in, loving each moment more than the last. I felt completely happy, satisfied, and full of love.

And that's the story of how our son Alexander Jor-el Luthor was conceived, carried, and born.


End file.
